By Jodie Frye
“Why do you love God?” she asked. I thought for just a second and remembered something beautiful the Lord had recently shown me. “Oh there are so many reasons. But there’s one that isn’t all that reason-able,” I answered.
*His saving-of-me requires the sinking-of-me.
David ~ a man after God’s own heart (who also happened to need a good bit of rescuing by his God) ~ says it best…
“I love the LORD because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy.
Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!
*Death wrapped its ropes around me;
the terrors of the grave overtook me.
I saw only trouble and sorrow.*
Then I called on the name of the LORD:
‘Please, LORD, save me!’
How kind the LORD is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!
The LORD protects those of childlike faith;
*I was facing death, and he saved me.*
Let my soul be at rest again,
for the LORD has been good to me.”
(Psalm 119:1-7 *mine)
The truth is, we cannot escape the sinking. The suffering. Even God ~ through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ ~ endured the cross, despising its shame. Because He loved us.
His ways are not ours. But gracious, when we simply walk (or limp) with Him, eyes fixed on His promises, declaring just who He is despite our feelings, bending our hearts low and our hopes high, He always comes through.
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Did you know that the original word still in Psalm 46:10 actually means, “to sink, let drop”? I can almost hear Him whisper, “Sink, child, and know that I am God. Let it all fall down, and know that I will be there.”
Our sinking, our dropping, our suffering, and even our failing, doesn’t leave us for dead when God is the One saving and redeeming us. So we can let go. Mess up. Fall flat on our faces. Even experience death…of a loved one, a dream, a relationship, and yes even perception and perfection (hallelujah).
When I look back at some of the hard, hurtful, desperate, even death-facing places of my own life, especially that of motherhood, I can truly say that I have “gone under.” At times, I have drowned in my own tears, questions, fears, and exhaustion. As a matter of fact, just yesterday I felt the sinking, as my warrior-of-a-boy fought another raging battle with the giant of anxiety.
Let me assure you, it’s easy to feel shame in the hot-teared confession of hand-flailing surrender.
In the “I give up…this is falling apart…. I don’t know what to do…I can’t breathe” desperate moments of life. But it is precisely here that something profoundly freeing can happen.
Our sinking becomes our saving.
It’s been His rescue plan, all along.
Dear mama-friend, He’s always after our hearts. Oh how He loves us. And, just like David, we can forever say: I love the Lord, because He hears me. He sees me. He knows me. And He will always come for me. Whether I am on solid ground or sinking sand.
I must simply be still and know.
Where are you holding onto for dear-life? Will you be brave, take a deep breath, and let the sinking be your saving? (I promise, He’s the best Rescuer, ever.)
Jodie and her husband, Eric, have been married for almost 20 years and live in Alabama. They have twin boys currently in high school and one in middle school. Being a mom of all boys (for a girl who needs her quiet space), has been a place of deep refining, surrender, and blessing for Jodie. Along with her husband, she is the co-founder of Altar84, a non-profit devoted to caring for the orphan by fostering gospel-centered change through the local church.
Jodie is a word-girl at heart, who loves writing her way through the messy-beautiful of life. She longs to encourage and inspire women in
grace + Truth and in friendship with Jesus.