I was reading through some old journals the other day. I’ve never been one of those people who keep a daily log of everything, but there have definitely been seasons of life where I’ve written often. Many of those times were seasons of change and uncertainty, and journaling was something that helped me make sense of things and verbalize prayers I felt uncertain how to process. One journal I found was from the seventh grade (let me go ahead and tell you how profound that reading material was), another started somewhere in late college and continued through a couple of years after graduation, and the final one is current and ongoing. Even though much has changed since that first journal, I still have detailed memories of writing some of those entries.
In the seventh grade I remember sitting on the floor in my room writing out some big feelings flooding a hormonal preteen. It’s that time in life where most struggle between childhood and adolescence. Immaturity hovers, but the desire for experience and wisdom bubbles underneath the surface. I remember feeling so small and insecure, so desperate to be understood by everyone, and for God to help me understand everyone else.
“Was God who everyone said He was? Did He really love me in spite of everything? Could He really forgive me for constant shortcomings?” — He did.
Fast-forward to right after college graduation—a 10-year jump. There were significant changes in writing style, word choice, and grammar usage (thankfully, there were no phrases like “Whatever!” or “As if!”), but what remained the same was the person who had written those words. Years had passed, many life experiences had come, and many more were on the horizon, but I still felt like that young girl, uncertain of the days to come and desperate for God’s guidance.
“Would God help me figure out the ‘right direction’ for my life? Was God allowing me to hear His voice clearly enough? Was God working on my behalf?” — He was.
Flip over another decade and we get to current times. I’m 32, and a lot of life has happened since college! Married and two babies later, the day-to-day looks oh so different, but the person writing in the prayer journal is still the same. In numerical years, I’m an “adult,” but there are still times when that little seventh grader sitting on her bedroom floor seems to be my closest ally. My journal pages are still filled with questions, only now the subject matter differs.
“Will God take care of the people I love? Will He help me disciple and train my children? Will He help me navigate a world I increasingly don’t recognize, and help me live a life that brings glory to His name?” – He will.
The thing the Lord continually teaches me is that life is full of seasons. Hard times come and go and seasons of growth and change set in, but through all of life’s twists and turns, God remains the same. He does not alter. He is not shifting sand. He is our compass and will help us in every life chapter.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrew 13:8, NASB)
I don’t know what you may be facing or what your current life season looks like. Maybe it’s exciting and hopeful, like spring shooting forward with possibility. Maybe you’re in a summer of growth; you’ve been nurtured by the Son and have roots digging deep. Maybe it’s autumn, and even though the crisp air fills your lungs, there is that lingering thought that the cold is about to set in. Or maybe it’s winter. Life is hard, the days feel long, and the questions start to come. Whatever the season may be, we can be assured that God does not change, and spring always comes again.
God is the great I AM. He has always been there and will always be there. He cares for our concerns, He watches over our children, He knows the prayers we pray over and over, and He does not tire of our questions. We need not worry about anything—not because life is easy, but because God is good. As long as we continually press on toward Him, He will sort out all of our messy efforts if our hearts are aligned with His. I’m thankful for that. In this season of life, I’m thankful for a God who grades my motives, and not my daily results.
So if you’re tired, if you feel like today starts with more questions than answers, and if you feel like “adulting” is just not working out, take heart! God is in control. Whatever the season, He is!
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” (James 1:17, ESV)