Insecure: “not confident or assured; uncertain and anxious.”
This described my feelings exactly when my slippery, crying baby was placed on my chest for the first time. Somehow, when you become a mother, indescribable love is paired with absolute terror! “Uncertain” and “anxious” definitely topped the list of adjectives describing me as a new mom. It seemed like everything I’d read about parenting flew out of my brain, leaving me feeling completely incompetent to sustain this new little person!
I’m three and a half years in now and when it comes to “winning” at motherhood, I have realized I might be THE WORST MOTHER EVER. Here’s a glimpse into my #MomLifeUnfiltered:
- I am not organized or creative, thus, elaborate crafts, cute themed snacks, and charts with stickers are not natural for me. Really, they kind of stress me out! I’m more of a “Kids, here are your prepackaged apple slices, and here is some construction paper, have fun!” kind of mom.
- I’m kind of a recovering slob. Sometimes, I have to “part the red sea” simply to get in bed for the night. (But my bed is always there waiting for me with soft, cushy arms wide open…because I may not have made it up.)
- I enjoy healthy food, but if something gets too detailed, time-consuming, or financially stressful…I’m out! So, instant oatmeal it is.
- I’m selfish. I get easily frustrated and annoyed. I have a short fuse, and I have to CONSTANTLY choose to think of others over myself. Motherhood will expose selfishness in a heartbeat!
- I like to be in control. Just go ahead and laugh with me on that one, and let’s move on!
- I compare. I try not to, but naturally, I compare. This causes me to set unrealistic expectations for myself and for my family.
So how do I approach the daunting task of motherhood in light of all of my insecurities, fears, and failures? Though I’ve only been a mom for a short time, by the grace of God I have begun to realize a few things that have helped me tremendously in dealing with these insecurities.
1) My children are NOT mine. They belong to Someone Who loves them even more than I do.
That has been revolutionary for me as a mom. I love this quote by Janet Parshall:
“Our children do not now, nor have they ever, belonged to us – they are His (God’s). We are simply in the ‘lend/lease’ program. He gives us permission to touch their hearts, to help them to know and love the Savior, to get them to love His Word, but in the end, they are His and His alone.”
I have to constantly, verbally, give my children back to God. They are His. That’s freeing, ladies!
2) God made me with my unique personality and gifts, chose me to be “Mom” to these specific children, and is able to equip me for the task before me.
It is good for us to recognize our weaknesses and strive to push ourselves out of our comfort zones as moms. But it is NOT good for us to wallow in self-pity and limit ourselves in comparison to others.
God has created each of us differently, with unique personalities, tendencies, passions, and gifts. We should only desire to pattern our lives after Christ. He is the only “measure” we need.
3) I believe my greatest contribution as a mom is to passionately seek God by spending time in His Word, striving to genuinely reflect Him in my everyday life, admitting my failures in humility, making GRACE the theme of our home, and fighting for my children on my knees in prayer.
When we live in light of the truth of God’s Word, and set our thoughts on Christ, we will win the battle of the mind and the flesh. I don’t have time to get caught up in my own insecurities. I am realizing it is time to know what God says about who I am in Christ, choose to believe it, ask God to continually make me more like Himself, and begin living in the power offered through God’s Holy Spirit. THAT is what I want to pass on to my children.
As Beth Moore puts it:
“We’re going to have to let truth scream louder to our souls than the lies that have infected us.”
The #MomLifeUnfiltered Challenge
Let’s look around the next time we find ourselves feeling anxious or insecure in our role as “Mom.” I bet we’ll find others who are right there in the trenches with us. (Do your trenches look like mounds of laundry and smushed goldfish in your carpet? Just curious…) Let’s look ahead and find moms further along in the battle, ready to offer hope and encouragement. And let’s make sure we look behind. There might be one wounded or waving the flag of surrender. She might just need to be reminded of the truth that crushes the lies. I hereby declare we end the “mommy wars” and begin living #MomLifeUnfiltered.
Now, it’s your turn! Do you struggle with insecurity or comparison to others? One way we can combat this struggle is to get real with one another about the reality of our lives—admitting everything isn’t perfectly put together and rosy! We’d love for you to join us on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook by sharing YOUR #MomLifeUnfiltered moments. (Pictures get brownie points!) Let’s encourage each other and admit we don’t have it all together! We can rest in the fact that there is only One Who DOES have it all together. (And He doesn’t have jelly stains on His sweatshirt…) And who knows…we may include your #MomLifeUnfiltered moments in an upcoming post!
*Please feel free to comment below! We love to hear from you!